1. Quit Smoking. Quit Drinking. . . And Don't Get Angry. It Can Lead to Heart Disease

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2. If Anything Comes in the Mail from the Surgeon General, Don't Open It!

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3. I Take It the Surgeon General's 'AIDS' Pamphlet Came Today!

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4. Don't Smoke, Don't Drink. . . I Only Want What's Good for You

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5. Attention! All Aboard!! Hey, Folks. . . Hello. . . Yoo-Hoo. . .

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6. He Said There Was Nothing Left to Issue a Warning About!

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7. Red Meat. . .Salt. . .Booze! Obviously, This is a Suicide!

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8. Koop retirement bash with skim milk and mueslix

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9. Surgeon General C. Everett Koop Retires--Let's Party!

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10. Warning: The General Public Has Determined that C. Everett Koop is One Big Royal Pain

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